Updated: Apr 16, 2021
There are just certain things that, in my opinion, have run their course and no longer deserve our time or our energy. Perhaps you agree with me or maybe not. Don’t worry, either way, we can still be friends.
1. What people think of you
Stop spending your time living for others and live for yourself. I’m not saying we should all run around being self-centered narcissists, but with mindful intake and keen self-awareness we should ignore outside voices, which make us feel less than good enough.
2. Love Labels
Single, engaged, married, whatever, who cares? Invite your friends’ places or spend time with people regardless of the box they check. And stop asking people why they’re single! Maybe they walked away from someone because their partner treated them like crap. Sure, they could have been married and lived the white picket fence fantasy, blah blah, but they chose something better for themselves. Start commending them for refusing to settle.
3. Your weight
Thin, fat, tall, small— it’s enough! If you want to workout, shed a few pounds, and get in shape, all the power to you. That’s wonderful. I think you can have a healthy balance without depriving yourself. I’ll never be the girl that’s going to turn down a homemade chocolate chip cookie or French fries spattered in cheese. It took me several years not to feel guilty about indulging. You’re worth more than some ridiculous society-driven number on a scale.
4. Being perfect
Perfection is overrated. I’ve embraced the imperfections in life. I used to get so worked up about dumb stuff that in the whole scheme of things means very little. So there’s a scratch on your kitchen counter, your white pants have a stain, or you didn’t post your kid’s first day of school photo. Oh well. Cracks are what make people way more interesting. Flaws can be humbling.
5. Pleasing everyone
You’re going to be so busy making sure everyone else is okay that you will inevitably lose yourself. And there is absolutely no way you can make everyone around you happy. It’s impossible. It starts with making you happy and the rest will follow.
6. Other People’s Possessions
Does it really matter if someone carries a Birkin or wears a Rolex? It’s all bullshit. And for the record, those fancy watches keep the worst time. I was better off with my Timex from 5th grade. The wrong things often impress people. Besides, a guy in an expensive sports car revving his loud engine only tells me one thing…
7. Social status
What makes someone cool? If you think it’s a “famous” last name or one synonymous with money you’re sorely mistaken. I’ve always found people who go against the grain to be the most fascinating. I guess it’s the rebel in me constantly craving my own sick beat. (P.S. Those who believe a social hierarchy exists will never be satisfied.)
8. Justifying yourself
People assume because I’m a writer I don’t have a job. I’m a creative. I’m always working. I’ve stopped explaining myself and what I do every day. It’s exhausting. I also taught 7th grade for a year and worked at a desk job for ten years. If someone has a problem with it, that’s truly their problem. You don’t need to validate yourself to anyone ever.
9. Wishing for someone to care
Darling, not everyone has the same heart as you and the sooner you learn that, the happier you’ll be. People don’t always share your set of priorities or values. You can either let others disappoint you or surprise you. The choice is yours. Ultimately, people are who they are. If you don’t want to accept this hard truth, then I suggest limiting your contact. Just remember a leopard’s spots won’t change when braving the wild.
10. The past
Everyone has a part of their story they want to erase. Maybe it was a devastating breakup, a falling out with a family member, or a friendship ending. You can’t change what’s already happened, but you can rewrite your future.
It’s taken me a long time and a lot of work to embrace different parts, people, and relationships in my life. I’ve learned valuable lessons and made plenty of mistakes along the way. Going forward, I try to stand to by my word, honor myself, and stop giving an F about things that mean absolutely nothing.